Why I’ve Been MIA and Shutting Down

I am working on a blog-related project and I had intended not to blog until the project was ready for release.  I made that decision when it was almost done, but then classes started and I haven’t been working on it because I am suddenly a lot more busy.  Every time I have wanted to blog over the last couple weeks, I have decided that I can’t because my project isn’t ready yet.  I think it’s been three weeks now and I don’t want to rush completion, so I’m just going to return to blogging until it is done. 🙂

This is going to have to not be a running blog for a while because I am not running for a while.  I have a piriformus injury that is almost gone, but I also have persistent tendinitis in the arches of both feet.  I have had the latter on and off for almost a year at this point.  Running with tendon pain is just not worth it to me anymore.  I am restarting physical therapy on the 26th for my hip, and I have been much more diligent about doing prescribed at-home exercises and icing my feet.  I have been wearing inserts in my shoes, and if my physical therapist suggests custom orthotics as she has in the past, instead of saying “no thanks,” I am going to ask, “How much and when can we make them?”

Lately, I have been wishing that I could just erase my last year or two of running.  Through mostly mistakes of my own, I have been plagued with injury after injury.  Sure, I ran my fastest half marathon in May 2013, but I also got a stress fracture and peroneal tendonitis during the way-too-aggressive build-up.  If I could, I would give up that PR to not have begun the vicious injury cycle back then.

Hindsight is 20/20 and there is no point to living in regret.  I may have had an unproductive, mostly injured 18 months of training, but I can learn from that.  I can learn to be patient, to be cautious, and not to try to keep up with far more experienced runners (in terms of pace, mileage, and what workouts they do).  I may not be the most patient person on the whole, but patience is all I have right now when it comes to running.

I am only 21 years old.  There are people who start running at this age or later and end up running very well into their thirties and beyond.  The other night as I was lying in bed, I thought, “I wish I could just start over.”  And you know what?  I can.  If I am very patient and heal completely instead of going back to running as soon as I think I feel better, I can start over.  If I do not think of it as a return to running, I can start over.  I’m not going to think about things I used to be able to do and my goal will not be to get back to that level of fitness.  I don’t want to go back.  I want to move forward.  I’m going to start fresh.  A clean slate.  A healthy body.  Unknown potential.

I’m hoping for a January 1, 2015 start date.  Not a return date, but a start date.  If I am not healthy by then, I will not run.  If I am healthy before then, I will enjoy extra time off and start in the new year.  I am done running for this year.  This has been a long, painful learning process that I am ready to leave behind.

Just to be clear, the blog is not going anywhere.  I will keep writing here, and hopefully soon my project will be ready to unveil. 🙂

0 thoughts on “Why I’ve Been MIA and Shutting Down

  1. Hey Rachel,

    I just read this post today (I’m a little behind on blogs!) and it sounds like you and I are going through similar times. In February I got a stress fracture in my left second metatarsal, took time off, then spent most of the summer slowly, slowly building back up. Literally the week I got back to my pre-injury weekly mileage, my shin started hurting fairly badly, so I took two weeks off and got an MRI. Turned out to be nothing, so again, I slowly started building back up… and four weeks later had another stress fracture. My doctor actually told me no more running for the rest of 2014. I’m struggling with that suggestion. I go back and forth between wanting to ask her to reconsider and wanting to take that time off to ensure I come back fully healed. If you ever want to talk about anything, feel free to email me… we can commiserate with each other 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *