Scary Run Tonight

I just got back from a run. A horrible run. A horrible 6.7-mile run that should have felt easy because I am three and a half weeks out from my half marathon. Lately, I haven’t wanted to run and I’m confused because I love running. When I have someone to run with, I love it and I get excited to go, but when I have to get out the door by myself, I’ve been having trouble.

On Sunday, I had a 12-miler on the schedule. So I did it. It sucked and I didn’t want to go. I spent about three hours longer in bed than planned trying to get myself to go.

On Monday and Tuesday, I had people to run with and I looked forward to those runs. Even though Tuesday was a tough track workout that I totally bombed. In the bad way.

Yesterday–Wednesday–was a by-myself day. Seven miles planned. I didn’t want to run, so I didn’t. I took a rest day and it felt pretty good.

This morning I let myself sleep in instead of running and going to the gym before work, but I had to start work early today so whatever. After work I was exhausted and did not want to run. So I took a 2.5-hour nap. Then I got up and I fucking ran. It hurt. It sucked. It was terrible. I stopped twice during the first half. I was confused. I’m still confused.

I had scary thoughts during my run. Things like, “I should stop eating.” I actually said that to myself. Of course, I immediately replied with a “What the fuck?!” and a “How would that help anything?” But still. Not good.

I’m feeling better now. One bad run does not mean anything. I think it was more mentally bad than physically. I need to work on overcoming my mind. I also need to go to bed so I can get up early and go to the gym before work. Because a strong body makes a strong runner and I need to feel strong right now. 🙂

Hey look, a smile! What a difference from the crying I did when I got home.

6 thoughts on “Scary Run Tonight

    1. Thanks man xoxo
      And power-walking is solid! Walking fast really works the calves. I remember once this past December when I was injured and not allowed to run, I took a long brisk walk and I was going at such a pace that it would have been easier to break into a jog! Power walking is not for the weak. 🙂

  1. I wonder if part of you is just a bit bored of running – I know that I definitely would be after running as much as you have. But props to you for pushing yourself through it all anyways! And I hope that you nail your half-marathon that’s coming up! Hopefully, this is just a transient phase.

    1. Yeah, I’m definitely feeling a little burned out. I’m planning to take a couple weeks off after my race before I start base-building for cross country season. I wouldn’t say I’m bored of running, but I definitely need a break. Some new routes would be nice too. I did a new one yesterday with a group that I loved! But it was less fun for other reasons (heel pain, yuck).

  2. Keep your head up! You are at least running and that is what counts right?! It seems like you are a bit burned out to be honest. I would take a break and rest. 🙂

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