Scary Run Tonight

I just got back from a run. A horrible run. A horrible 6.7-mile run that should have felt easy because I am three and a half weeks out from my half marathon. Lately, I haven’t wanted to run and I’m confused because I love running. When I have someone to run with, I love it and I get excited to go, but when I have to get out the door by myself, I’ve been having trouble.

On Sunday, I had a 12-miler on the schedule. So I did it. It sucked and I didn’t want to go. I spent about three hours longer in bed than planned trying to get myself to go.

On Monday and Tuesday, I had people to run with and I looked forward to those runs. Even though Tuesday was a tough track workout that I totally bombed. In the bad way.

Yesterday–Wednesday–was a by-myself day. Seven miles planned. I didn’t want to run, so I didn’t. I took a rest day and it felt pretty good.

This morning I let myself sleep in instead of running and going to the gym before work, but I had to start work early today so whatever. After work I was exhausted and did not want to run. So I took a 2.5-hour nap. Then I got up and I fucking ran. It hurt. It sucked. It was terrible. I stopped twice during the first half. I was confused. I’m still confused.

I had scary thoughts during my run. Things like, “I should stop eating.” I actually said that to myself. Of course, I immediately replied with a “What the fuck?!” and a “How would that help anything?” But still. Not good.

I’m feeling better now. One bad run does not mean anything. I think it was more mentally bad than physically. I need to work on overcoming my mind. I also need to go to bed so I can get up early and go to the gym before work. Because a strong body makes a strong runner and I need to feel strong right now. :)

Hey look, a smile! What a difference from the crying I did when I got home.

Health & Fitness Running

2 May 2013, 10:57 pm; 5 comments

5 Comments on “Scary Run Tonight”

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  1. Sage says:

    I HATE running, I am a power walker.
    Awwww @ you being sad xx I’d give you a big hug if I was there …

    • Rachel says:

      Thanks man xoxo
      And power-walking is solid! Walking fast really works the calves. I remember once this past December when I was injured and not allowed to run, I took a long brisk walk and I was going at such a pace that it would have been easier to break into a jog! Power walking is not for the weak. :)

  2. Stephanie says:

    I wonder if part of you is just a bit bored of running – I know that I definitely would be after running as much as you have. But props to you for pushing yourself through it all anyways! And I hope that you nail your half-marathon that’s coming up! Hopefully, this is just a transient phase.

    • Rachel says:

      Yeah, I’m definitely feeling a little burned out. I’m planning to take a couple weeks off after my race before I start base-building for cross country season. I wouldn’t say I’m bored of running, but I definitely need a break. Some new routes would be nice too. I did a new one yesterday with a group that I loved! But it was less fun for other reasons (heel pain, yuck).

  3. Ashley says:

    Keep your head up! You are at least running and that is what counts right?! It seems like you are a bit burned out to be honest. I would take a break and rest. :)

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