Hi. My feet hurt. My feet have hurt for the last several weeks and I have kept running on them feeling them get worse and worse and knowing I was running myself into an injury. Yet for some reason, I didn’t care. And honestly, I still don’t care. I haven’t run since Wednesday, which is only five days ago. For the last week and a half of running, I have been seriously considering quitting altogether. While running 12 miles around the lake two weekends ago, I was thinking about how I didn’t even really like running long anymore and how I would be much happier just running however much I feel like whenever I feel like it.
I don’t want to train for things anymore. Or at the very least, I want a break from training for things. I don’t want the pressure of a deadline and I don’t want to feel like I have to run through discomfort if I don’t want to. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to do races for fun if I feel like it. I have a ten-mile race toward the end of August that I am doing because Matt does it every year and he wanted me to do it with him. It will be fun. It also doesn’t mean I’m going to stop running longish. I like being in shape to drop in on things like running the 8 miles around Mackinac Island if I make a trip up there and feel like running around the island.
But I’m not going to force myself to run when I don’t want to. I’m sick of that and it makes me sick of running. I walked to work this morning (two miles) and I was just as happy as if I had run before work. I’m not going to run through pain just because I think I am “supposed” to be running, which is what I had been doing the last few weeks. Nooo thank you.
Last week, I made plans to go to a social run tomorrow night, and I really want to go to that, but it happens every week and I’m not going to grit my teeth and run with painful feet just because I’m impatient and want to go to the social run this week instead of next. I’ll see what tomorrow brings, but I’m pretty sure it isn’t going to bring pain-free feet.
Oh, and I finally deleted my running club Google doc.