Tonight, I did what is possibly one of the most disgusting things I have ever had to do. That’s right, I cleaned up after my roommate.
I’m not a neat freak by any means, but I don’t particularly like it when I can’t find a clean place on the table to put my napkin, or when the kitchen counters have crumbs all the fuck over. I’m not even exaggerating. I could show you pictures, because I’ve taken a few in the last couple months of times when it wasn’t even as bad as it was tonight, but I don’t want to disgust you. Especially because you might be eating. 
I started cleaning at 10:20pm. I only cleaned the downstairs, and you would think the downstairs of a smallish apartment wouldn’t take very long to clean. Maybe half an hour. I mean, it’s only a kitchen that barely fits two people, a dining area, and a living room with a couch, TV, and a couple coffee tables. Well, maybe that assumption is correct when you’re cleaning up after most people, but I finished cleaning at 12:50am. Two and a half hours, it took me! Two and a half.
I’m subletting from my friend Rebecca for the summer, and she got this apartment with her close friends Sean and Shaun, so right now I’m living with Sean. At first I thought, “well, he’s just a guy. I guess it makes sense that he would be messy,” but the level of messy is absolutely ridiculous, I tell you. I have never known someone who was so okay with living in their own filth, who was so okay with constantly having fruit flies in the kitchen from all the crumbs on the counter and dirty dishes in the sink. I’ll admit, I’m sometimes lazy with the dishes too, but his don’t help and he usually leaves more than me and for longer.
One day, he asked me, “do you know what this stuff is under the burner?” I was floored. Floored that he didn’t know what it was, and floored that he was probably asking me because he thought I had something to do with it. Well, for your information, all I ever cook on the stove is spaghetti, ramen, and cheese quesadillas. Not exactly mess-worthy.
“I think it’s food from cooking on the stove,” I said, and walked away.
He cleaned the stove after that, thankfully, although not very well. He doesn’t seem to know how to clean, to be honest. The two times he has cleaned the table, it did not work out. Most recently was about three nights ago when he chopped onions on a cutting board on the table. He managed to get little onion pieces all around the cutting board, and when I walked past later and saw that he had cleaned them up, there were giant streaks from where he had slid each onion piece off the table.
Another time, I asked him to clean the table for me since I had a friend coming over right after work, and I didn’t have time to clean it before work. I thought it was fair to ask him, since I had cleaned the kitchen and table two days before, and he dirtied them right back up. When I got home with my friend that afternoon, the table had been cleaned, yes. I don’t know what he cleaned it with, though, because it was visibly streaky and I could feel stuff still on it. Good job, Sean. Good job.
Among the things I had to touch tonight when I cleaned: a pair of his shorts that he left on the floor next to the couch in the living room.
I’m sorry that you had to clean up after your room mate. I really dislike cleaning up after people just because I don’t see why people don’t clean up after themselves!! o.o Luckily I never really have to clean up after people as if my brothers don’t clean up after themselves either my parents will do it or they will get told off. Dx
Ew he sounds really gross. Dx I imagine if I was in your position I’d just end up going crazy and shouting. But even if you were to, he doesn’t actually know how to clean. :S Maybe one day just show him what he has ‘cleaned’ to make him realise?
O_o.
No, that needs to be done again. O_o.
I hope my roommate isn’t that messy! I am generally a pretty messy person, but that’s mainly because no one else has to stay with me in my room. The decent thing to do is to at least TRY and keep the place clean if you’re living with someone else!
How much longer do you have to stay with him?
Hey! Ick, that sounds disgusting. Yea, I’m kinda of worried that I’m going to get a room mate like that. Or someone even worse. I’m not too messy…ok well I am. But I’m organized. I tell my parents that I’m an organized mess. It’s actually only laundry and clothes that are my biggest problems. I hate putting laundry away. I know it’s silly.
I get lazy. lol.
Oh God, that sounds absolutely awful. I mean, I know guys who are messy, but he’s not only that, he’s dirty (borderline filthy)!! I’m sorry you had to clean up all the mess he made, that definitely didn’t sound like fun. That’s one thing I hate about living with roommates. You can be messy all you want in your own room, but seriously, at least make an attempt to be clean in the public area and clean up after yourself? -__-
To make up for the severe lack of profanities in this post: fucking hell.
I can understand being messy but he’s just disgusting! I pity him. I know some people (I don’t think I should name names haha) who have dirty habits like farting in public, leaving their plates on the table, not using plates at all and leaving breadcrumbs everywhere, leaving clothes all over the house… but Sean is certainly old enough to clean up after himself and make an effort. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry about the onions… but really, when you have large pieces of food on the table you don’t want to be wiping the fuck out of them and scrubbing the table with the food scraps. You pick them up.
Guys are messy but there is a point when it does become unforgivable. I would be so grossed out too if I were you. I would hate sharing a place with a messy person. I may not be the cleanest person ever, either, but I make an effort to put things where they belong. I’m not a neat freak, but at times I can be a perfectionist.
I’m pretty sure when I get my own home I’ll be wanting to clean it and not wanting it to be messy. Since I still live at home, I’m a bit lazy… ~_~ But yeah.
Um. I didn’t do the dishes tonight. And I don’t normally feel guilty about it at all, but today I do. Oh no.
Omg, you’re living with a guy? No way in heaven or hell would my mom allow me to do that. However, that is to be expected from a guy. I just went to my brother’s apartment and it was like a jungle. I can’t stand it when people aren’t clean or neat. And what’s wrong with guys being clean once in a while? It’s ridiculous, and I think some of them don’t care just so they won’t feel like a sissy or something.
My brother’s girlfriend moved back home, but my brother moved to nearby home. It’s kind of ridiculous, but obviously over here is much better than where they went to school. Ha.
Well I don’t know anything about American music, but the thought that Simple Plan or GreenDay might be gay for eyeliner never even crossed my mind. Why do people think like that? It annoys me so much.
Oh…grody. I understand your pain, I really do. I’ve lived with two guys and they seem completely.. immune, to filth of all sorts. Granted, it never got that bad here because I often yelled (one was my boyfriend, one his best friend) but I do understand and that’s so ridiculous. I’m sorry you had to go through that mess >_<
CTL is for Counter Team Leader. Means I'm a manager up front. And tags are for my car, you re-new them once a year and you have to have tags that are in-date in order to drive your car.
Yeah, my mom actually had an external hard drive, but it’s broken now.. Just a little piece, of course the piece we need. It’s the piece where you plug the cord into. Haha.
No, I live in Canada. (: But I have heard of Black Friday, a couple of people go to the US for that from here.
Agh, I’ll have to somehow get it all back..
That’s disgusting, like maybe he’s one of those guys that just think that girls need to do all of the cleaning, and if he does think that, well then he needs to get into the century!
Ugh, guys need to learn how to clean. Not all guys are like that though, but definitely most of them. I just hate that.
Ugh.
I’m sorry for you >< I'm semi a neat freak…when I'm not working late nights I'm always scrubbing the kitchen, cleaning my room, organizing something. I couldn't stand that.
And the bit with the onions. Um. Hello? Didn't you see the streaks that they left behind? That's half assing work if you ask me. Ugh.
Since you said he doesn't seem to know how to clean maybe ask him what he used on the onions and explain it didn't come out well? Just a thought. Some people honestly don't see their own wrongs, I think.
Ok. That’s really gross and pretty freakin’ annoying.
This guy totally sounds like his mom was really taking care of him and cleaning up after him before he moved here, that’s why he’s so DERP when it comes to taking care of himself and the place.
I’m sorry you have a sloppy pig for a roommate. I am annoyed for you!
Not that I’m reveling in your pain, but this made me laugh! Not the fact that you had to clean up after a disgusting roommate, but the rant was funny. Guys are so gross. It makes me a little scared to think about marriage and being stuck living with one forever.
My roommate is a girl, so she’s not nearly as messy. And thank God our living situation is just temporary cause we leave for summer and winter break. Otherwise I’d probably boot her out because she makes a mess everywhere she goes. And it’s not enough to leave it on her side; she drags her filthiness all around the dorm, and she gets mad at me when I bleach the toilet. 
And I just have one question, are Sean and Shaun pronounced the same way? o.O
Haha, yes they are.
We call one Sean Z. and the other Shaun.